Things I would never do

After reading a friends blog, I was reminded that it's been quite a while since I posted a "Things I would never do" post. What better time than my 34th birthday to tell you all the things I would never ever do!

I would never just turn a pillow around rather than take a few minutes to sew up the little hole starting to grow in the seam.

I would never tell my family that all I wanted for my birthday was to be left alone for a few hours. I would never say that, because only a selfish person would say that...and I'm am definitely not selfish.

I would never run screaming from the kitchen at the preschool because I think a small piece of black trash bag is a mouse. That would be foolish and it might upset the kids.

I would never drive across my lawn at 5:30am to try and hit an armadillo, because I love all woodland creatures.

I would never ask my sweetie to go out at 11pm to get me a Pepsi, because Pepsi is not good for me & I am just way too concerned about that sort of thing.

I would never tell my 8 year old son to pack his own lunch. And if I did, I would never let him take a fruit roll-up and 3 PB&J's! I am to good a mother to do something like that.

I would never tell my son to use paper towels when he discovers we are out of toilet paper. And if I did that, the toilet wouldn't overflow and flood our carpeted bathroom.

I would never forget that someones husband is only 5 feet tall when I make an off-handed comment about short people. I am way to sensitive to do that sort of thing!

I would never answer the door in a towel thinking one of my children was locked out, only to find the Schwan's man there...I simply don't have Desperate Housewife moments like that.

Wow! It's a good thing I don't do things like that. Because if I did, someone might think I was an irresponsible, thoughtless cougar!