To good not to pass on

Bran sent me this story today...it was too cute not to post. It hits a little close to home for me since Bran enjoys a good Wal-Mart prank now and then. The most recent being when he sneaked panties into the cart of a local pastor who was shopping alone. Enjoy!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boringand preferred to get in and get out.Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the localWal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite themin if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can'tyou people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked hisnose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti depressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible'theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position andscreamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And, last, but not least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'