Answer: After my 2nd treatment my hair started to thin out a lot. It didn't fall out in clumps or anything, but it was really starting to get thin. One night I was setting on my bed with a towel in my lap. I was running my fingers through my hair to get out all the loose hair when Boston walked in and saw the giant pile of hair on the towel. He just stood there and stared at the pile until he started to cry and ran out of the room. I shaved it that night. Looking back, I feel like it was a good decision.
Question #2 - Did you have insurance when got cancer? Do you have alot of debt as a result of your treatment? You have never really posted much about that part of your cancer.
Answer: Actually, I'd only been on my preschool's group policy for about 5 weeks when I found out about the cancer. There is no doubt in my mind it was a total God thing. Up until that point I'd only had major medical & not a very good policy at that. The total cost so far is somewhere around $280,000 of which my insurance has paid all but about $17,000. Between lab visits, PET scans, and such I will add an additional $10,000 to that total over the next year and 9 months. I know it sounds like a lot of money...and it is...but compared to the grand total...a drop in the bucket.
Question#3 - Do you wish you had a daughter?
Answer: If you had asked me that question 1 year ago I would have told you YES!!!!! I've wanted a baby girl since the day they told us Boston was one! And to be honest, the desire didn't go away as I had boy after boy after boy. I've dreamed about adopting a sweet little baby girl for years, but with Bran's terrible adoption experience I soon learned that would never be an option he would ever consider.
About a year ago I became an aunt to two beautiful baby girls. (i'm sure none of you knew that) God knew what he was doing...The minute I met each of "my" girls I was filled with a total contentment about the boys God gave me. I love being a mom to 3 boys. I can't say for sure that I will never ever have the desire to have my own baby girl again, but for now I am happy with 3 beautiful boys and 2 beautiful nieces.
Question: #4 - How did you and Brandon meet?
Answer: I met my sweetie for the first time in the 6th grade. His mom was my 6th grade teacher. I actually told her she had very handsome boys and that I might marry one of them someday. Who knew? We never actually dated till Bran's senior year, and then only for 3 months. About a year later, at the start of my senior year we started dating again...the rest is history!
Question: #5 - How and how much did you tell your boys about your cancer?
Answer: When it came to telling the boys, we decided to wait until I came home from the hospital. Since our youth pastors wife had just gone though 6 months of successful treatment it was pretty easy to give the boys a bright outlook. Riley did ask me if I was going to die, it was a little hard to admit to him that that death was a possibility, but I did tell him that I would'nt die without a big bad fight. Since they were going to be there for the good, the bad and the ugly, I figured it was best to be honest about things.
Question #6 Did you ever think you wouldn't survive the cancer? How did you deal with that thought?
Answer - To be honest, I never even once thought that cancer might be the end of me. I don't know if that was just denial, but for the most part I never really doubted that I would beat the cancer and be better for it in the end. The only times I really struggled with it at all were the days right after treatment. I did wonder sometimes how I would go on if I didn't get to stop at 12 treatments. I did wonder when enough would be enough if I had to keep up the treatments. When do you stop fighting and say "God, is this your plan for me? Do I need to stop fighting you and accept that I won't see my children grow up, or is this just a big bump between here and the next 50 years you have planned for me?" Had I been placed in that position to stop or keep fighting...I'm still not really sure what I would have choosen.
Since there is still a 50% chance it will come back in the next couple of years, I can only take it one day at a time. If and when if does come back I will just have to hope the Lord makes the path VERY clear. I not really good at blind faith!
Question #7 - What is your favorite memory of us as kids?
Answer - I think some of my favorites have to be from camp. Do you remember the year Elvis's step brother was our team leader? The ride u talked about was at Six Flags and it was the one where after you get off you stand on the bridge and let the next boat splash you. I also remember how we used the hand dryers in the bathrooms to try and dry out a little.
I remember that if we ever wanted to get away with anything we went to Becky Mills house. Her mom was never home, so we could get away with just about anything! Were you there the night we read all the trashy parts in her moms smutty romance books? I do have a memory of eating something WONDERFUL your mom made once. To this day I can't remember what it was, other than that it had chicken, cheese and pasta.
Question #8 - How do you make those soups & cookies in a jar?
Answer: Here's the link to the recipes I used for the cookies. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cowboy-cookie-mix-in-a-jar/details.espx . Here's the link for the soup. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/friendship-soup-mix-in-a-jar/deatil.espx
Question #9 - When were you saved?
Answer - I was saved when I was 12...and then I "got saved" for real when I was about 22... I know I know, once saved always saved...the baptist motto! I truly believe that as a child you are more than capable of believing and trusting, but I think there has to be a time as an adult when you reach a real understanding that it's not all about "turn or burn" but about a personal daily walk. I had a lot of trust and abandonment issues as a young person and for those reasons I had a hard time grasping that God could love me with unconditional love. I tested him many many times, and never really reached a peace about it until I was in my 20's. One night, not long after I had Boston I was up for hours with him screaming and crying. I was exausted and fed up, but like a good mom I kept working at it till he FINALLY went off to sleep. I set there looking down at that tiny little face & and was overwhelmed with such love I broke down. It was truly the first time in my life I understood how much God loved me. I can't explain it any better then that.
Question #10 -Have you ever had a hard time in your marriage when you didn't think you would make it?
Answer - Not really. Now don't get me wrong... we've had our moments. We've thrown plastic bowls at each other, yelled and stomped and yelled some more, one time Bran was so mad he walked all the way to Wal-Mart just to blow off steam! But even in all that, never once did it ever even cross my mind that we wouldn't make it. I'm just not built that way. We committed to stick it out, and as a result "out" is just not an option. For the most part, Bran and I get along about as well as any couple I know. We've been together almost half our lives...that must count for something.
Question #11 - How did you find out your were sick?
Answer - I had been having some issues for about a year, but because of my age my dr kept thinking the problems were just minor bowel issues. On Nov. 8th of last year I got chicken pox. The chicken pox broke my immune system down so much that the infection around the tumor took hold and spread really fast. I woke up one day with my tummy all puffed out on the left side and running a 103 degree fever. My dr sent me for a CAT scan and they saw the massive infection. I spent 7 days in the hospital that time, but my surgeon wanted to wait a few weeks do to surgery on the "diverticulitis". I went home, but in 4 days I was so sick he put me back in and scheduled the bowel resection. 13 days, 25 inches of colon and a 9 inch tumor later....I had cancer. The crazy thing is, during that entire year I kept having all those problems...I would put my symptoms into the WebMD. Guess what the first thing it would pull up every time? Yep, colon cancer. In my defence, it also said that colon cancer was unlikely in a person under 50.
Wow, thanks for being so honest Cassie!
ReplyDelete