Fishing...What's a mother to do?

We had a great weekend with the little boys. Boston was in Branson with his Uncle Travis, Danny and 3 other boys. They took a boat out on Table Rock Lake, spent time tubing and even had time to hit the Bass Pro Shop & see the water and fire show.



We took the little boys to the Kids Fishing Day at Roaring River in Mo. They got to fish in well stocked holes and even take a few classes.

Everything was going well until the game warden and I had a little run in when Riley caught his first fish. Part of the point of the day is to teach kids to fish, so parents were supposed to let the kids do all the fishing. Well, Riley caught a one pound trout & he couldn't pull it in, so I ran to hold his pole while he grabbed the net. My umbrella was stuck in the net so a few other boys had to help me get the fish out. Well, all of the sudden here was the game warden accusing me of fishing and not letting my son pull in his fish, and to top it off we were using illegal bait. The boys next to us were using corn or something & I guess he thought Ri and I were with them. So he was watching us. He took all the joy out of Ri's first fish by yelling at me that I was fishing for my son & trying to give him an unfair advantage with the wrong kind of bait. The dim wit should have realized that we had no idea what we were doing since all our little bait packets were new & our little fishing box still had the stickers all over it. I did get in his face a little because all around me people were using the same kind of bait & there were more men "helping" their kids fish than I could count.

Riley's first fish...


Cade felt that if he changed his bait every few casts...need I say more?



The boys took a biology class where they got to dissect a large mouth.

Then, they got to learn how to make a fly and they learned how to cast a fly rod.
Next, they got to learn about frogs. They got to see tadpoles, baby frogs & they would have got to see a full grown one too, except that when the teacher was not looking a boy grabbed the frog and threw him in the water.

Bran and I got to relax alot since the boys are able to fish on their own.
Everything at the fishing day was free, but they ran out of food before we could get any lunch, so around 3:30 or so we had to make a quick run to McDonald's in Cassville. The boys seemed to have a really fun day even if we only caught one fish...with illegal bait!

What's a mother to do?

I have really been struggling the last few months with something I know a lot of you deal with too. Bran and I are going to Tulsa this weekend to celebrate our 13th anniversary (belated). Of course it comes the same week as school starts. I am really struggling to even want to go since I know that going will put a serious strain on what money I have left to get supplies and such for the boys. I know in my heart that we really need this weekend, but my head keeps saying "what would a good mother do?"

It seems like every time we plan to do ANYTHING just for "us", the devil finds some way to take the joy out of it for me. Bran and I haven't even been on a date since October of last year... with treatments and such, we just never got the chance. I know how important it is to have that time together, but every single time I start to plan something...something else comes along to make me feel like a bad mom for not spending that money on the boys. And it's not like the things they need are toys or fluff...it's eye appointments, school supplies, shoes, a dresser...etc...etc...

How do you cope with the guilt?